


My King

by Canibananabalism



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, M/M, Movie 3: The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies, You will recieve no happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:15:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23508994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Canibananabalism/pseuds/Canibananabalism
Summary: At the end of the Battle of the Five Armies, Bilbo dies instead of Thorin.
Relationships: Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield
Comments: 2
Kudos: 54





	My King

A miserable rat, that’s what I called him. He’s bleeding out and one of the last memories he’ll have will be me threatening his life all because I couldn’t see that what he was doing was what was best. Mahal, I’ve fucked up. I can’t even save him. He’s too far gone, and there’s nothing I can do to save him.

I let Fili die and now Bilbo was going to follow him. Mahal, I hope Kili’s alright. 

Bilbo’s not. He’s not alright. He’s dying and I won’t be able to tell him that I love him because I was too late. He’s smiling up at me, but all I see is a blurry outline of his face through all the tears. I can hear the sobs he’s trying hard to hide through the faltering in his voice. Fuck, he’s dying and I can’t even properly see or hear him because I’m crying.

“My friend, my king,” he’s talking to me. Why would he call me friend after all I’ve done to him? “because I love you, you fucking moron. I love you so much it hurts.” Oh…I said that out loud. He loves me. Why would he love me when I’m the reason he’s dying. He’s dying because I couldn’t even protect myself from Azog. Bilbo, ever the fool, stepped in front of me right as Azog was going to kill me. He killed Azog because I was weak and now he’s paying the price for my stupidity.

“Thorin, this isn’t your fault.” Of course Bilbo would know to say that. He’s gotten good at reading me. 

Mahal, Yavanna, anyone, please, don’t take him from me. I’ll pay, I’ll pay for my crimes, just please, spare him, let him return home.

“I’m so sorry, Bilbo. I never should have let Gandalf bring you into this. This was my mess to clean up, not yours. Fuck, Bilbo, I’m so so-“ I was cut off by the most heartbreaking cry.

“Bilbo?” Please, no. Please don’t be dead. I didn’t say it yet. I didn’t tell you that I loved you. “Bilbo?!’ Please wake up. Wake up. 

Looking around was all I could think to do. That was, unfortunately, the wrong thing to do. Not far, but still, too far, I saw him. He was being cradled by that she-elf. Fuck, no, Mahal, why? Why?! I know I fucked up, but why would you take it out on them. They did nothing wrong. 

Turning back to Bilbo might have worse than looking at Kili. His eyes, which were once filled with bright light, hope, love, slight annoyance, and so much care, were now cold and dead. When did it get so cold?

I could feel my self being dragged away from Bilbo’s body, most likely by Dwalin. “Please don’t take me from him.” He was still carrying me away. “Please! PLEASE! BILBO! NO! I can’t leave him! Please.” He didn’t listen. 

I was a selfish king. At least I knew that. I couldn’t stand it anymore. How you go back from this. It was enough to make me forgive Thranduil. Mahal, now I understand why he went mad. How do you move past it all? How do you move past when you know that they should be the ones that are alive and not you? How do you keep living? 

Thorin’s answer, you don’t.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sorry.


End file.
